My MST PTSD claim goes to trial at the end of the month. I feel a very heavy, negative sense of anticipation and more of the same gas lighting from the VA. I am sick to my stomach over this and the fact that I was exposed to extremely dangerous toxic substances and my health has been declining but I can’t seem to get anyone to help without a bunch of abuse attached to it. I know I need to get this out of me and processed but I am really afraid of how I will handle it once I turn the switch on.